he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
