I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
