Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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