I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i think my cat just said my name.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Someone signed my nipple.
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