no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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