Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You are the jesus of drinking
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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