STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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