i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
