best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
