she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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