I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
