I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
