The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
