Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
