Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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