I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
