Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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