I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
