at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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