What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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