Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
