she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
