so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
