In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I want to be your penis for a week.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
