I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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