what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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