with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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