Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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