he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
