i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
