I need help removing her.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
