I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
