I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
