woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
