I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
