Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
