Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
