Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
