Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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