doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
