Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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