As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
