I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had to cum in my sink.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
