in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
