oh god the rape fog is back!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
