im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
