it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
