We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
