you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My feet surprised me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
