He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Actions speak louder than pants.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
