Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
