oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
