they need to just BURY HIM!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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